You shall stay in heart forever

You have always been the Big B...the first born in our family...the heart and soul for everyone. You were the one who just tied all of us with that one string.you were that invisible card that we have, that could be used anywhere and everywhere...say it school or home. Having you in our life was like having a shoulder to cry on, a hand that you know will pull you out from the deepest shit.

From keeping us safe, to keeping us at home- happy and sound :P you did it quite efficiently. You were someone, whom the whole family could bank upon. like a staircase from one generation to other. your values, your thoughts along with the book you have written is safe with us :)

Things are different now,we have learned to live, while missing you...thinking about you.
Even now sometimes i can still feel you around(i am sure we all can), as if you are somewhere very near. i look around at people, with the slightest of similarity...that face, those big eyes,those crazy hairs :). i immediately feel a bond to the person who have any-any thing common with you, just to realize that they are still not you.

May be you know that or not, but even while leaving this World you have taught us the biggest lesson... nothing is permanent, and you can live with and without anything...

i have been an excessively emotional person whole my life, and it really kills me when someone is going away, or i should say just the idea of falling apart, scares the hell out of me...
But then i think about you...and i know if we can manage a life without you, there is nothing/noone's absence we can't sustain.

well, that is a terrible thing to say, but that what life is.
And with this note i want to say one thing, even if there are not many posts on this page, even if we don't say it aloud that many times, but we love you, we all love you alot. and no matter what you will always remain in our hearts and our lives :)

Jagriti

Happy Birthday Bhaiyyaaa

happy bday 2 u.......
happy bday 2 u........
happy bday dear bhaiya......
happy bday 2 u....
every year on ur bday.'....we usd 2 think abt ur bday gift.....sumthin difrnt :)
n most of d times we settle dwn 4 shirt...... :}
dat was funny.....
hum har baar zidd krte ki party krte h.....long drive pe le chalo..........
n aap har baar ghr pe snacks le aate..:(
:)
dat wasn't fair at ol......
:\
we can never 4gt dat day.......wen we ol (bcha party-sim,varun,mayank aur mai) went out 4 dinner......quality me :)
n usk baad ice-cream.... :)
n den late aane par ghar pe daant......

u were alwaz aware abt wats goin on in our lives.....bhut gussa aata tha kain baar......wenevr we stepd outside home......we were 2 face ur ques..."kahan ja rahe ho??kya kaam h?? mummy-papa ne haan ki to kya, bola na ni jaana....."

aur aaj.....
bahut bura lgta h....wen we r goin sumwhr......n no1 says....--"koi zrurt ni h tumhre jaane ki......kaam ho jaega........."
sim n tarun b ki to alag kahani thi......
do min k liye sath baithe to sab ghr waale pareshn.......kitna ladte the.........par jo bhi ho.....chaai unhe sim k hatho ki bni peeni thi.......
n rakhi pe kitna pareshaan krte the...... :) phle to araam se taiyaar hote.....masti maarte hue.....
n usk baad shagun ka 1Rs. pkda k furr ho jaate......n fir waapis aake.......gift dete....:)

kitni yaadein........kitni baatein.......:)
we ol miss u so mch......................
happy bday....
god bless u......
your family........

Ek Saal Baad

HiiiiiiiiiiiiPoora ek saal hone ko h bhaiya ko gaye........par aaj bhi aisa lgta h ki woh sath h............Sach mein kain baar mujhe ehsaas hota h ki woh mere sath h......actually hamare sath......Bhaiya humme sabse bde the.....act hai.....aur woh na sirf hum sb se bhut pyaar krte the balki itni fikr krte the ki .......hum par aanch bhi na aa paye.......jst like a father....... Simmi aur mere liye to woh bhut hd tak strict bhi the........I remember hum jb ghr se bhr niklte the n by chance bhaiya bhr khade hote to puchte-“kya kaam h??? Mai jaata hun”aur agr kbhi ghr k bhr na milte to raste me pakka mil jaate.......har waqt dil ko sukoon hota tha ki kbhi koi prob hui to bhaiya h na........sab theek ho jaega.........baat chaahe blank call ki ho ya study related........he was always there.......... yaad aata h woh din jb bhaiya hum sbko ek room me leja kar , doors bolt krte aur fir pta ni kaise apni eyelashes ko ajeeb se dhng se fold krk hame darate..........tab dar lgta tha.....aur aaj yaad kark hasi aati h........... ek aur incident hai when i was in 10 th aur mai apni frnd k sath sham ko tution se ghar aa rhi thi n scooty puncture ho gyi thi........phli baar mere sath aisa kuch hua tha......pta nhi tha kya kru......n aas paas koi repairing shop bhi nhi thi.....i was really very afraid.....maine bhaiya ko call kiya........par unka no busy tha.......n i was calln from booth.....so, maine chacha ko call kiya-he said -“he was busy”.........i was so scared i called varun,he said -ki itni door nhi aaega (uska next day school me test tha)......n koi shop dhund k theek kra le”........ i was so angry......Saturday tha.....so papa kaithal me nhi the.............at last maine bhaiya ko call kiya............”a last try”.......he pikd d phn on fst ring- i told him evrythn.......and i started crying....he said-“.......beta mai meeting me hun........ par koi baat ni tu chinta mat kar mai varun ko bolta hun.......” maine kha varun ne mna kiya h........he said -“koi baat ni beta mai use bolta hun.........nhi to mai khud aa jaunga tu pareshaan mat ho.....aur unhone us booth waale uncle se kha hamara dhyaan rkhne ko”n 5 min baad fir unka phone aaya- “beta varun aa rha h....usk phunchne pe phon kriyo” n fir varun aaya......maine unhe call kiya............n fir varun ne scooty theek karayi n hum ghr phunche............ us din to ghr aake maine varun aur chacha ki achi khbr lit hi.............sach me unka hona hi bhut tha...secure feel krne k liye......... shi mayno me to hamara har kaam unki help se hota tha.......simmi ka mba ka form whi laaye the.......n mera aieee ka form unhi ne bhara tha.........mujhe yaad h--- chacha ki shaadi se kuch din phle mere right ear me bhut problem thi,,,,bhut pain tha....tez awaaz to bilkul bardasht nhi hoti thi.......us din ghar me padh tha....n mere ear me hadh se jyda pain ho rha tha.......jab unhe pta chala,,,,,woh usi time mere paas aaye aur mujhe Dr Gautam k paas le gaye...... n in a few hours.....mai loudspeakers bhi bardasht kar skti thi........... shaadi se ek din phle engagement tha.....us din ear ache ki wajah se i wasn’t able to eat........to bhaiya ne apne sath hi mujhe khilaya..........lgta h jaise do min phle ki bt h........... wen i was in second sem, to har Monday bhaiya ko treatment k liye delhi jaana hota tha , to mai unk sath jaati, woh mujhe hostl drop krk delhi chale jaate.....prob yeh thi ki woh har baar late ho jaate......n mera fst lect maths ka hota tha---n us teacher k to kya hi khne.....aisa lgta tha 2nd year ko ni 2nd class ko pdha rahi ho.......bas har baar mai muh fula k bth jaati........n fir bhaiya k kisse shuru ho jaate.....”tu teachers se darti h,,mujhe to mere teacher khte h arre tarun aaj aap rasta kaise bhatak gye,..................”aur pta ni kya kya.........jab tak ki mai has na du........ mera favourite kaam tha bhaiya ka hairstyle kharab krna- jisme mai kbhi successfull nhi ho payi, mai unk baalon ko ghosla bolti thi..........mai kitne bhi bikher dun.....woh ek baar hath ferte aur baal bilkul set ho jaate........ jb bhaiya bimaar the to woh apne paas bhut kum logo ko brdasht krte the. So hum unk paas aate jaate rhte the........par kain baar bhaiya ka man hota tha ki hum sab sath baithe...........to varun hamare paas aata n bolta......cards ikthe karo...........fir hum idhr-udhr se cards ikthe krte, 2-3 pack,,,,koi fark ni pdta tha kitne mile.....pure h ya nhi........n fir hum shuru krte the BLUFF.......Bluff hume siddharth bhaiya ne sikhayi thi......n bhaiya ko bhut pasand thi..........Shuru me to theek chalta........fir dheere-dheere bhaiya saare cards apne paas ikthe kar lete........agr sidh bhi hota to woh sbse phle jeet jata........Fir jb baaki sabk paas bhut kum cards reh jaate to bhaiya shuru krte jhuth bolne ka silsila...........n thodi hi der me woh jeet jaate.............n mujhse to jhuth bola ni jaata........gadbad baad me krti hun hansi phle aa jaati h.......To mai apne cards bhaiya ko de deti.............ya varun.......jo phle jeet jaye........Bhut mast tha............bhut enjoy karte the hum sab...........

Your youngest Bro.. Mayank..

I am Mayank(TARUN Bhaiya's youngest brother) luv u bhaiya.. Missing u bhaiya ..
Today i feel like writin on my relationship with Bhaiya...Now I m telling abt mah relation wid bro. I Am near abt 12 small in age from him.As I m the guy in family who has got the most freedom, I am sort of less serious in studies...all my family members always compell me to study said always me to study .i was gud in studies before. I remember the day it was near abt dec. Bhaiya went for treatment to London .Before that , I didnt know any thing abt him, Being a kid, no one used to share anything abt his problem with me.usse pehle i dont know know bhaiya ko kuch tha .mujhe sabhi memb. Kehte the bhaiya thik hai but.1 day i asked 4rm my father than he told me all. Tab bhi bhaiya ko nhi pta tha ki i know that all bhaiya ne kabhi show nahi hone diya .1din bhai ne mujge bulaya aur mujhe data why i 2cant do study he know due to my frnd circle i cant study and than mah pre board came i had not cleared xams tab bhaiya+ne mujge khud beth kar math ki tyari karvayi aur maine study shuru ki tab i was busy in xam it was 20 feb bhai thik nhi tha to mai 2 din gaya hi nhi bro ke pas aur at last i cant tak him. mai math me pas ho gya but bro se last tym nhi mil saka.

From a special frnd on ur Birthday...

I knew him since a long tym but We were gud frndz for 6 yrs…. ( kuch milde ne loki nit sanu.. kuch reh jande.. kuch chale jande vang hawa banke te kuch vas jande sahaan vich saah banke) wen he was nt ma frnd .. there was nobody whom I can say my real frnd .. wen v bacme frnd… den also I did nvr meet such guy whom I can say my best frnd now hez nt vth us den also I cant say sumbody my special frnd …. N wen he was in trouble .. once he made me realize which place I carry in his heart as a frnd…. N its everything for me…. Describing abt him wud b lyk m insulting his values of frndship …. But on his bday I want to collapse sum gud moments which we shared vth each other…..


since the tym almost 3 yrs I m staying away from my home,,, I wud hav nvr missed ma parents / ma siblings/ my old frndz as I shud hav to bcoz tarun was dere in every situation …. He was a kind of person…. With whom u can discuss ane matter whether its ur personal probe, carrer tensions…ane matter. For the probes u cudnt find the reason,,,,, he can tell u exact reason n resolution of that probe…. He used to b my consltant as well as my medicine… wen he was in chd… we 3 frndz used to sit together… me, tarun n sahil…. Ma ofc was quite near to fun republic… .those days tarun was wrkng in icici in sec 9… n sahil lived in kharar… all of us used to be gathered at FR in lunch tym at Mcds….. n dat was d gr8 fun… n one of the memorable moments of ma chd lyf ….. 2 or 3 tymz v sat at ma ofc also… v njoyed a lot….


Wn ever I use to reads his msgs…. Sumwhere its feels that tarun wantd to teach me how to be strong wen ur gud frndz aren’t besides u…. once he send me the msg ( tumhari duniya se jane ke baad hum tumhe hare k tare mein nazar aaaya krenge .. tum har pal koi dua maang lena aur hum har pal tuut jaya krenge ) ,, n I got very angry wen I read his this msg.. n I shouted on tarun ,, how cud he send such stupid msg ….. n now I do realize the real meaning of dat msg,,,, wen ever I miss him badly…. I want to weep vth sumone… wen I need sumone to share my thoughts.. I use to gaze at stars… n I try to find him in stars n wenever I watch falling star… it feels lyk tarun wants me to make a wish… n he wants to giv me sumthing… n I use to make a wish at that tym….

Since 3 months… he didn’t tell me dat he met vth an accident…. Wen he was bed ridden for 1 yr… once v were talking at nite … its 12 midnyt.. I was crying too much due to my personal probe…. He was trying to make me understand the real facts of lyf… but I was keeping on crying den he told me,,, (beta , sun main ek saal se is room mein hun… sari lyf khatam si lagti hai… kisi frnd se baat nhi ,, kisi se milna nhi.. kyunki main sabhi ko bta kar kisi ke sympathy nhi lane chahta hun,,, sara din iss room mein in deewaron ko dekhte rehna .. laptop par online rehna.. bas yhi lyf reh gayi hai,, yeh pyaar , paisa, gfz, affairs, yeh sab kuch nhi hai.. agar tumhari zindagi hi nhi hai… mujhse puch zindagi kya
Hoti hai…. wait kr rha hun uss tym ki jab main iss room se bahar ja sakunga) … among ma all frndz he was the only one with whom I used to share ma secrets… now wenevr I feel lonely.. i use to read his msgs… sumtymz I even dail his numbers…. N wen I think to b dependent on sum wrong stuffs ….. I remember his those words … n den I keep ma mind diverted from all stupid things for which he always used to make me understand coz dey are injurious to ma health… if today I m alive …. He z the only reason…. Who made me understand the real value of lyf…

On his last birthday… I was in chd… one of ma frnd was working in 92.7 fm … at nite I insisted her to make a call on tarunz number n gv wishes on his bday on air… n she did the same… den in my pg.. I gave him bday wishes along vth all my roommates… n he was really happy…. Aftr a long tym I waz listening him smiling ….. I can nvr forget wen he said me tanx ,, n I started crying bcoz I knw how much he z sufrng behind that smile n still he z pretndng to b happy… n I dnt wana him to knw this.. n I dscnctd the call n den he send me the msg … ( don’t worry jaldi theek hokar aaunga tujhse chd milne) ,,,,, on 20th sep 2008 , Saturday he came to chd n evn we plannd for meeting but v cudnt meet n dat was my last day in chd… next day I hav to shft sumwhere else n I was leaving chd… I was in sec 17 waiting for him .. it was raining .. n I got his call. He told me.. he z busy sumwhere n cant cum. Its urgent.. I didn’t say anething … I came back at home… nxtday he called me up.. n said ( tu phone par rone lag jati hai mere problem se … tu mujhe iss condition mein nhi dekh sakti thi ) n sumwhere he was quiet right .. I cudnt see him in dat condition…

I HaV LeaRnEd how tu LuV , tu Sm!le,
Tu b HaPpy, tu b $tRoNg, tu work hARd,
Tu b hone$t, tu b Fa!ThFuL, tu FoRg!Ve bUt
I coUldn’t leArN hOw tu Stop missing u….!!!

U MaY B oUt of our Sights,
But Not OuT Of our Hearts,
U may b oUt of our ReAch But Not oUt
Of our m!Nds, we mAy mEAn NoTh!Ng Tu u bUt
U w!ll always$ b SpEc!Al tu us….!!!
I miss u wen I m sad.. I miss u wen I lonely… I miss you wen I m worried …. But the most I miss u wen I m happy,,,, God ! all of us need tarun more than you . plz send him back to us.. v love u tarun a lot.. miss u…

Aapki Guddu...

hiiiiiiiii
today i am here to write something for tarun bhaiya..................
bahut socha ,fir samajh me aaya ki shuruat kahan se kru...

mujhe aaj bhi woh din yaad h jab chacha ki shaadi hone wali thi, hum tab tak bhaiya ko tarun khte the...
ek din bhaiya ne hame bola ki mai tumse bda hun,tum mujhe bhaiya khk bulaya kro. maine pucha ki "bhaiya" bola karu ya "tarun bhaiya"??? bole "bhaiya"...bas us din se hum shuru hue........sach to yeh h ki woh is respect k kabil bhi the.....
:)


aur bhi kitna kuch h...........
ek baar bhaiya se ek baat pe ladai karli thi maine....act hua kuch aisa tha ki mujhse related ek baat unhe achi ni lgi aur unhone simmi se pucha....aur mai gussa thi ki mujhse kyun ni ...aur maine

2 mahine tak unse bt ni ki.ek hi gr me rhte hue.....
n d most intrstn thing was ki bhaiya ko pta bhi nhi tha ki mai unse naraaz thi..............
:)
aur do mahine baad ek din mujhe kuch kaam tha to unse baat krni pdi.aur woh aise baat kar rhe the jaise unhe kuch pta hi ni..............
bas fitr kya tha
maine rona shuru kar diya tha......
fir bhaiya ne mujhe chup karaya...
usk bd unse kbhi ldai ni ki maine......

he was really a wonderful person................
a rocking son and an awesome brother......
unke baare me jo kha jae kum h........

well unse related kitna kuch h.....
kya kya likhu?????
filhaal itna hi......


LUV U
Bhaiya.........

GOD BLESS U.........jahan bhi ho..........

yours....
GUDDU(jagriti)

A blog for my Bro...

15th may 09…
*
This is Samriti Gulati…Tarun’s sis…

Tarungulatiktl.blogspot.com is my effort to bring the golden history into present and make my family joyous by revisiting those moments of love and affection..

I have created this blog to cherish my brother’s Tarun memories wid a feeling tht he is still with us as a part of our family….…
there are ‘n’ no. of incidence that have happened wid me whn I find him wid me and find him bit extra supportive. He has never let me feel alone , at times when I m left with no option, I find a divine force supporting me and helping me getting away with the problem. He is there and i m sure on it....

We are 6 siblings in family. Tarun, Siddharth,Samriti(me),Varun ,Jagriti and Mayank.

I still remember the day when one of the classmates of TARUN asked him about the number of siblings we have. The question was firstly answered by me that TARUN has one brother, they are two… But Tarun intervened himself and said no, we are 6…It was such a great feeling my heart went thru that time…

We have always been proud of his sense of thinking.. Hardly I found him different to me than VARUN. To me no other person can be as pious as he is…

He used to call me gudiya..Varun ko kaalu nd Jagriti ko Gudda…In my blog , I want to share all those golden moments we all have spent together…

Life is just about getting through the phases we come across…

Sharing with you some of those magnificent splendid moments my family has spent together.. Its just like visiting the 1980s of GULATIs

Regards
SAMRITI